blastortoise:

I’m just so flabbergasted at how all the eye witnesses have the same story, from start to end, but the police department’s changes every fucking 2 hours. That’s the sign of a bad liar, if you can’t keep your story consistent then you are lying.

(via laughcentre)

burqalicious:

if youre attractive and you talk to me first, chances are im very confused

(Source: maahammy, via maybe-as-fuck)

lyingmary:

imnotpooping75:

imnotpooping75:

where did noah keep his bees

IN THE ARK HIVES

Get the fuck away from me right now

(via artificialhusband)

wawaqueen:

Girls who wear light colored pants during their period deserve a medal for their bravery

(via artificialhusband)